Renewing your marital relationship (2)

Dear Reader,

I welcome you to another edition of our series on Renewing Your Marital Relationship. Last week, you were told that one of the things to do to renew your marital relationship is having a right expectation. This week, by the enabling power of the Holy Spirit, we shall be examining how to Build A Strong Attitude of Intimacy.

Intimacy is the pillar for every successful marriage. It is the responsibility of the man and his wife to build and develop a strong and healthy intimacy in their marriage. Many couples wistfully remember those sweet, innocent times before marriage, that they were so interested in each other. A loving and joyful marriage is one in which both partners are intimate with each other. Intimacy is crucial for strong family and marital relationships.

Intimacy means a warm, close, confidential or private relationship, which develops through long association, friendship and familiarity. When we talk about intimacy in marriage, it is that warm, close, confidential or private relationship between husband and wife.

When we talk about intimacy, a woman or man should be the most intimate person with his or her husband or wife. They should be the best of friends. Neither of them should be as close to anyone else as they are to each other. Intimacy indicates the deepest level of privacy that one can think of. Intimacy is what makes marriage to be successful and enjoyable.

Without intimacy, marriage becomes horrible, cold and lonely. Intimacy in a marriage needs to be promoted, to make marriage last a lifetime and remain enjoyable.

God has commanded it for the husband to cleave to or cherish his wife. He will spend time with her to ‘know’ her more. For intimacy to be developed in marriage, both husband and wife should depart from all forms of interferences and cleave to one another, to become one flesh. God’s Word says: For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:31-32). Therefore, you must “leave” so that you can “cleave.” When you do, you are sure to enjoy intimacy in your marriage.

How To Enhance Intimacy

You Must be Open

To be intimate with your spouse, there must be no hide and seek game. You must be ready to open up to your spouse, so that your spouse can trust you.

Embrace Trust

Trust is an essential ingredient in our daily living. The very essence of life depends on trust. A marriage cannot survive without trust. Trust is not a gift; it is a virtue that must be built through experience and over a period of time. Trust is reciprocal. The more you express your trust to your spouse, the more he/she responds to you in trust. You must endeavour to believe your spouse.

Be faithful

To enhance intimacy in your marriage, you must be faithful to your spouse. Learn to keep secrets concerning everything your spouse tells you (Proverbs 28:20).

Express Love

Be willing to express your love to your spouse, more than anyone else. Let your spouse be your close confidant. Communicate and discuss issues with your spouse.

Be Good Listener & Communicator

You must be a good listener. When your spouse is talking, you must not be too busy to listen to him or her. Be ready to listen, discuss and make some contributions as well. Engage in an open communication. Open communication is the ability to discuss anything with your spouse. It includes sincere expression of thoughts, feelings, as well as careful listening.

Be Available

You must be willing to make yourself available to your spouse, whenever he/she needs you. No matter how choked up you are in activities, you must create room for him/her, by making yourself available. Learn to spend quality time with him/her. For fun, go out or stroll out together, play games together, etc (Songs Of Solomon 2:4).

You Must be Caring

You must be ready to express a genuine concern for your spouse’s well-being. If you do things you know hurt your spouse, you cannot have a healthy intimacy. You can develop a more caring heart and mind, by learning to think of your spouse’s feelings before yours. Always ask yourself before acting or speaking, “If I do this or say this, will I hurt my spouse?”

BENEFITS OF INTIMACY

It brings about unity, which promotes God’s presence and blessings in a marriage Psalm 133:1says: Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!

•It brings about free flow of communication (Proverbs 27:19).

•It promotes longevity in a marriage (Proverbs 31:11, 28-31).

•It makes marriage more enjoyable (Proverbs 31:5; Isaiah 62:5).

•It brings about greater spiritual strength (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).

The grace to build a strong intimacy with your spouse is available, when you are saved. You get saved by confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Saviour and Lord. If you are ready to be saved (born again), please say this prayer: Dear Lord, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins.  Cleanse me with Your precious Blood. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Thank You for saving me. Now I know I am born again!

 

Congratulations!  You are now born again! Till I come your way next time, please call or write, and share your testimonies with me through: E-mail: faithdavid@yahoo.com; Tel.  No: 234-1-7747546-8; 07026385437; 07094254102

For more insight, these books authored by Pastor Faith Oyedepo are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all the Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work and Building a Successful Family.

 

The post Renewing your marital relationship (2) appeared first on The Nation.

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