Western Vs African: Western Values Are Killing Nigerian Family Culture

Editor’s note: In a contribution to Naij.com, Ubaka Chukwuka Maximus focuses on the issue of interaction between the Western and African value systems. Mr Chukwuka reveals what a devastating effect the Western attitude towards marriage and divorce produces on the Nigerian traditional family values. 

Story highlights:

– “There is no doubt the western value system is at variance with the cherished African norms”.

– “Feminism should ideally end in the office: the practice of bringing in bossy attitude to home by some women often results in separation or divorce”.

– “By no means wife can be equal to husband”.

After the Second World War, the USA naturally assumed the leadership in world politics and security. The devastating effect of the atomic bombs explosions in Hiroshima and Nagasaki made the rest countries gradually submit to the American might. America, on the other hand, didn’t stop at just being the unofficial world police. It went further to spread its value system, which favours liberalism and extreme freedom of choice most of all. Two of these values hurting Nigerian family system are feminism and liberalism towards divorce and single parenting.

There is no doubt the Western value system is at variance with the cherished African norms. Africans are hostile to divorce, but the rise in feminism over the years has been changing the trend, especially among young women. The terms “gender equality” and “sensitivity” are being indoctrinated into the minds of the innocent women who don’t even suspect they can destroy us all.

Moreover, the United Nations Population Fund defines gender equality as a human right. The organization claims that “women are entitled to live with dignity and with freedom from want and from fear. Gender equality is also a precondition for advancing development and reducing poverty: empowered women contribute to the health and productivity of whole families and communities, and they improve prospects for next generation”.

The type of feminist drive most young and unmarried women have today is far from what gender equality stands for. Gender equality in a nutshell means equal opportunities for both genders. If a male child is being educated in the family, the female child should be educated as well; if a man can be president of the country, nothing should stop a woman from being president too.

However, gender equality does not entail equality with male at home, it’s actually about feminism. The fact that women are breadwinners in some families does not imply that providing for the family is not a man’s role. Even when a man decides to cook and wash clothes due to some reason this does not make home-keeping his duty. A woman is bound to show appreciation, so is a man whose wife is paying the bills.

There would be no need for feminism if the world was still in the subsistent economic age. Harsh economic reality made women start seeking for alternative ways to help the families. These women’s intentions are noble. Nevertheless, marriages are failing; divorce is becoming a way to seek freedom outside marriage bounds. Feminism should ideally end in the office: the practice of bringing in bossy attitude to home by some women often results in separation or divorce. Women who are guilty of this vice see nothing wrong in divorce as long as it is sanctioned by the law. However, marriage is not just a product of the law, marriage is a sacred ritual. Divorce in the court only removes the legal veil from the marriage, its sacredness instituted by God stays untouched.

By no means wife can be equal to husband. There is only one head in the family. Ephesians 5:23 likened the relationship between husband and wife to the relationship between Jesus Christ and the church. Verse 24 says: “Therefore as the church is subject to Christ, so also let the wives be to their husbands in all things”. Mark the last words – submission in all things. Most young women professing Christianity find it hard to imbibe this injunction. Power tussle between husbands and wives at home is contrary to Christianity and foreign to African values. A woman is a wife at home notwithstanding her position in the society or in the office.

I am by no means championing the return of the old order when a woman’s place was in the kitchen. I am rather advocating a save marriage devoid of divorce for the well-being of our children because extreme feminism, which the Guardian called “the fourth-wave feminism”, turns women into rebels.

Every society has its own norms. There is nothing wrong in copying the Western ones, but it becomes a stupid endeavour when we copy mindlessly without regard to what we represent. Western people have a different socio-religious milieu. Their women can be aggressive and dictate decisions at home, which may result in a higher number of failed marriages. Nigeria is witnessing a high level of unmarried women, and divorce is becoming a norm. This is because our women are beginning to think and act like men, and two men cannot be married. Single parenting has become breeding ground for cultism, prostitution and fearless children. A fearless child can do anything.

God took a rib from Adam to create Eve for a definite reason. He didn’t take a bone from Adam’s head so that Eve could be equal to him. He didn’t take a bone from Adam’s feet so that the man could step on the woman. God took a rib from Adam’s bosom so that the woman could be loved and cherished. Loving a woman comes with a prize which is submission by the woman. A fusion of a man’s love and a woman’s submission will save our family system.

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Ubaka Chukwuka Maximus for Naij.com

Mr Chukwuka is a graduate of the University of Nigeria, Nsukka.

Your own opinion articles and news/photo reports from your area are welcome at info @naij.com. More details in Naij.com’s step-by-step guide for guest contributors. Drop us an email at info@corp.naij.com telling us what you want to write about and why. Contact us if you have any feedback, suggestions, complaints or compliments. We are also available on Facebook and Twitter.

This article expresses the author’s opinion only. The views and opinions expressed here do not necessarily represent those of Naij.com or its editors.

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